Wanting to Meet You x See You Again
by 1angel2heart
Summary: Lying in each others' arms, these are Gon's thoughts, his feelings, written from his perspective, as he reflects on everything that's happened so far. It's like a summary of how his feelings toward Hisoka had progressed over time. This can be considered a bonus / extension to Chapter 19 of my main story, Unexpected x Developments! Warning: Naturally there'll be story spoilers!


**A/N:** I did this at work while doing a bit of warm up in preparation for writing some more content in Chapter 20 and future chapters. I realized that it's been ages since I've written any poetry at all. No surprise that HisoGon made me do it... So have this, some six pages worth of _Unexpected_ poetry (lol I crack myself up get it? _Unexpected_ as in the story this poem is for and also for the fact that this poem was an _unexpected development_ too? Hahaha *badumtss* lol anyway =.=), I wasn't going to post it but some people wanted to see it. I hope you guys like it, I'm not sure if it's style is free verse or prose poetry but meh, I can no longer tell... I think I fried my brain with all the writing I've been doing.

As I said, you can consider this an extension to Chapter 19 since Gon's thinking of this stuff as they're lying in each others' arms right after Hisoka asked him to stay with him.

**References (if you're interested)**: The stuff that Gon reflects on was seen across the series; specifically (in no order):

Episode 36 after their fight when Gon was thinking that Hisoka was so far away but not out of reach and that he would train in Nen to get a power that was just as strong as his.

Episode 5 when he had that first contact with Hisoka which left him confused

Episode 16 on Zebil Island when Gon was thoroughly humiliated

Episode 24 from 1999 when he spent about 3 angry, sad and lonely days recovering from the paralysis drug on Zebil Island and the humiliation of realizing that he still wasn't strong enough to face Hisoka . He felt that he was too weak and desired to be stronger (my heart always breaks when I see Gon in this episode oh gosh...*gross crying*)

Manga chapter 10 in the second exam where Gon was thinking that the rush of excitement he got from hunting the pigs was nothing compared to what he felt when he'd encountered Hisoka

Episode 36 after his fight when he told Killua that what he understood from fighting Hisoka was a secret

Episode 131 when he attacked Pitou

Episode when he was in the hospital

And then everything else is the summary of his experiences in the story up to present (Chapter 19)

**NB:** One last thing, this is not the type of poem that rhymes in every line! Now let's go!

* * *

**Wanting To Meet You, See You Again**

Today it feels like so long ago…

So long

Since that day when I first met you

So long

Since the moment when I did not know

That the day you left me utterly confused…

And bruised…

Would be the day I'll start always wanting to meet you, see you again

XXX

You exposed my weaknesses and you…

Looked down on me,

Even as I was forced...

To look up at you, towering over me

I was one of many

Trapped

A face in the crowd of those you desired to subjugate

Put on a waiting list and made to wait

Patiently...

For the day you deemed me

Worthy…

Worthy to kill

Regardless...

From that moment on I desired to meet you, to see you again

XXX

Whenever I thought of meeting you

I wanted nothing more than to surpass you

Whenever I thought of meeting you

Your very essence...

Everything about you...

I wanted to subdue

Make you do more than just notice me

Or seek to break, destroy and subjugate me

Instead...

I wanted to force you to acknowledge

Acknowledge that I was not worthy of killing

Not because I was too weak, but because I was too strong

And thus it remained, that need to meet you, see you again

XXX

The thought of meeting you stroked something in me

Something I could tell no one of

But that something was always in my eyes

A desire I could not disguise

An excitement so profound

A lust so dark, so dangerous

Yet you were always so far away

So out of reach

And I struggled to meet you, to see you again

XXX

I dreamed that one day I'll show you how much I've grown

How strong I'd become

Make you stop chasing after others who shone brighter

And compel you at that moment to see only me

I could not understand why I felt that way

Scared, excited and hopelessly dismayed

So I told no one of this, this urge to meet you, see you again

XXX

You were like the exam

The test I had to take

A rite of passage

Spurning my desire to never give up

To never see you mocking me

And to finally defeat you completely, whenever I met you again

XXX

And whilst the shadow of your humiliation

Haunted...

Haunted my subconsciousness

I searched for you in my own way

Seeking a power that would wipe that smirk off your face

So I trained my Nen

In hopes that we'd meet again

I trained my Hatsu

Desiring to one day defeat you

Thinking all this time of my hope to meet you, see you again

XXX

In the end I went too far

Kissed the cheek of danger

Made a pact

Hurt, maimed and bruised myself more than even you have done to me…

In my quest, my lust to avenge

I'd given up my soul...lost myself

And at that point I no longer wanted to meet you, see you again

XXX

You always blurred the lines of right and wrong

I followed your light

Craved for its brilliance

But the price I paid was in blood

Blood…

Red as your crimson hair

Burning...

Hot like the pain I felt

I was ready to die, but even then one last time…

As I felt the life leave me

I foolishly wished to meet you, see you again

XXX

I had searched for power and lost much more

My quest for strength

Left me worn

I went to sleep

Tired

Plunged into a night so dark, so deep

Nightmares, loneliness

Wraithlike in my own consciousness

Drained, crippled, tormented and laid bare

And even if I wanted, I could never ever meet you, see you again

XXX

I did not want you to see me like this

You…

Who I hated

Me…

Who'd been baited, humiliated

Made decrepit

By the darkness you call your domain

And so I'd thought the book had closed on our tale

I would no longer meet you, see you again

XXX

But the gods intended that we meet again

Fate made you see me weak, without my Nen

Desire made you want me, even as I was

But it was fear that made me pause

Because I realized that this time **_you_ **had sought _**me**_ out

Wanting to meet me, see me again

XXX

I tried to run because that day we met I realized

That deep inside

There was a dark desire

That set me afire

One I was powerless to restrain

One from which I could no longer abstain

Why...why did I ever wish to meet you, see you again?

XXX

I fought those feelings…those desires

I fought you

I tried to run away

Get away

From the slumbering part of me you'd awakened

But you persisted, finding me every time and calling from within my body the things I could not…

Did not

Want say to you

And as your hands molded perfectly to every part of me

Your lips, tongue and kisses showed me forbidden things

Things I'd never heard of

Dreamed of

Things that caused me to shudder, arch and desperately crave for your touch

Making me addicted and training...chaining my heart to yours

XXX

You…

After having taken my innocence, my freedom, was left unsatisfied

Decided that my heart you'd pacify

Nothing less than _**all**_ of me

Hopelessly

Was what you'd make me surrender

Forever

And whilst once being the one desiring to subjugate you

I became the subjugated

Now I'm hopelessly trapped

Unable to tear myself away from your spell

Unable to break the chains you've wrapped around me so well

This pleasurable prison must be my punishment…

Punishment for having always wanted to meet you, see you again

XXX

If someone were to offer to save me now, I won't go

If someone were to take me away from this, I'll return

Because days spent without you will be days spent in aching silence

Empty echoes in a lonely room, a heartfelt penance

I don't want to meet you, see you again – I want to stay with you

XXX

From now on

Now that I've met you…now that I'm _**with**_ you

I want nothing more than to spend my days wrapped in your arms, my heart set ablaze

Because your love, your light and your embrace

Is all I need to go on.

* * *

**A/N: **Thanks for reading! I'm not sure if I'll do more of these, but we'll see :)

Although I was hesitant to post this at first, a little HisoGon poetry on an early Sunday morning can't be bad at all. Especially since I can't update yet.

See you guys soon!


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